A few weeks ago I began tutoring a student in English. Saint Hibbert Milfort is from Haiti, speaks French and is well educated. He very much wants to learn English.
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Returned Today
We were away three nights -- first visiting Jane's son and daughter-in-law in Merritt Island and then on to Lake Wales for our UMD summer renters' reunion. We were hosted by our good friends Larry and Leslie Chlebeck in Nalcrest. It was good to see them all. Video
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Three Highly Recommended Movies
Atonement: I highly recommend this epic film set in England in the 1940s. It centers around the consequences of a lie told by a little girl. It moves back and forth in time which I found confusing but well worth the effort to sort it out.
Juno is a quirky low-budget independent film about teen pregnancy. The star is a likable, wacky 16 year old girl, Juno, who can handle any problem. For me, the main weakness was Juno's overly hip and unrealistic dialog. I highly recommend it.
The Savages is about the depressing subject of a parent with dementia but you must see this for the brilliant performances of all the actors. I urge all to see this excellent movie.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Sunday
Considering the weather and so many things to do, we were surprised to have ten walkers today. All seemed to have a good time. View video.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Saturday
Judy Jaksch led a walk across the Lake Worth bridge and we were among the nine in that group. After that we went to the Poinciana Chapel for the memorial service for Herbert Swope. I have for many years admired him. View video.
Busy Day
Fourteen of us 
dined out last night at Dixie Bar & Grill with host, Gloria Weeks.
dined out last night at Dixie Bar & Grill with host, Gloria Weeks.Jane and I went to the opening of the South Florida Fair. It was a very good day.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Thoroughly Modern Millie
Lake Wourth Playhouse, with their production of Thoroughly Modern Millie, has once again reconfirmed their place among our most favorite entertainment venues. We attended the opening last night and were thrilled and delighted. The depth of talent and professionalism of this community theatre can't be over praised. I enjoyed it even more than last season's road show presented at the Kravis. See this production.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Art Fair
Yesterday we attended the contemporary art fair at the Palm Beach County Convention Center. It is a fantastic show of contemporary art, photography and design. Anyone would find this fastinating.
This is the only picture I took.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Kekexili: Mountain Patrol
One of the most powerful films I've ever seen, Kekexili, filmed in Tibet, is about a group of men searching for antelope poachers. It is excellent on many levels. I highly recommend it. We viewed it yesterday at The Society of the Four Arts.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Thursday with Friends
January's Frugal Dining Out was at The Carving Station. Robert and Phoebe hosted us at their home in the clouds and we had a marvelous time.Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Cirque Dreams
The very entertaining CIRQUE DREAMS JUNGLE FANTASY last night at The Kravis was an impressive and extremely polished production. I highly recommend it.
Boar's Head Pageant
The Boar's Head Pageant and Yule Log Festival at Bethesda-by-the-Sea church was thrilling as usual. Even after many viewings over 25 years I still get teary and goose pimples.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Curse of the Golden Flower
The Society of the Four Arts yesterday showed the movie, Curse of the Golden Flower. We were blown away by the stunning cinematography. The sheer enormity of the visuals defies my ability to describe. If you don't like reading subtitles you can skip them and still be satisfied by the artistry.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
comfort someone grieving
11 ways to comfort someone who’s grieving
If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, it can be hard to know how to console him or her. If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Accept that the person’s grieving will be a gradual process.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to say to a bereaved person. If you find yourself tongue-tied or uncertain of what to do in the face of someone’s loss, here are some steps you might try.
Name names. Don’t be afraid to mention the deceased. It won’t make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It’s terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation. (This suggestion does not apply in cultures in which mentioning the dead is taboo or bad luck, however.)
Offer hope. People who have gone through grieving often remember that it is the person who offered reassuring hope, the certainty that things will get better, who helped them make the gradual passage from pain to a renewed sense of life.
Make phone calls. Call to express your sympathy. Try to steer clear of such phrases as "It’s God’s will" or "It’s for the best" unless the bereaved person says this first. Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling.
Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring, or funny anecdote that shows how important to you he or she was. If you didn’t know the deceased, offer your sympathy and assure the bereaved that he or she is in your thoughts or prayers.
Help out. Be specific when offering help. Volunteer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner, pass on information about funeral arrangements, or answer the phone. Pitch in to clean up the kitchen. A lawyer might volunteer to help with the estate. A handy person might button up the house as winter approaches.
Be sensitive to differences. People mourn and grieve in different ways. Religion plays a big role in how death is treated; so do ethnic, cultural, and family backgrounds. Avoid criticizing the funeral arrangements or memorial service. Also, try not to impose your beliefs about death on your friend.
Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Be aware that weekends are often very difficult, and suggest an activity. Low-stress activities may be best: watch a video at home together versus going out to a movie. Sometimes just being there without saying much is enough — it may even be exactly what your friend wants.
Listen well instead of advising. A sympathetic ear is a wonderful thing. A friend who listens even when the same story is told with little variation is even better. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don’t be quick to offer it.
Express your feelings. If you share your friend’s sorrow, say so. It’s even all right to blurt out that you don’t know what to say. Most likely, nothing you say will turn the tide, but your sympathetic presence may make your friend feel slightly less alone. (One caveat: try not to express your feelings so emphatically that your friend has to take care of you.)
Handle anger gently. People who are grieving sometimes direct angry feelings toward the closest target. If that happens to be you, try to be understanding. That is, wait until well after the person has cooled down before raising your concern in a nonthreatening way.
Keep your promises. If you offer to do anything, follow through. This is especially important where promises to children are involved. Losing a loved one is abandonment enough.
If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, it can be hard to know how to console him or her. If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Accept that the person’s grieving will be a gradual process.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to say to a bereaved person. If you find yourself tongue-tied or uncertain of what to do in the face of someone’s loss, here are some steps you might try.
Name names. Don’t be afraid to mention the deceased. It won’t make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It’s terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation. (This suggestion does not apply in cultures in which mentioning the dead is taboo or bad luck, however.)
Offer hope. People who have gone through grieving often remember that it is the person who offered reassuring hope, the certainty that things will get better, who helped them make the gradual passage from pain to a renewed sense of life.
Make phone calls. Call to express your sympathy. Try to steer clear of such phrases as "It’s God’s will" or "It’s for the best" unless the bereaved person says this first. Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling.
Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring, or funny anecdote that shows how important to you he or she was. If you didn’t know the deceased, offer your sympathy and assure the bereaved that he or she is in your thoughts or prayers.
Help out. Be specific when offering help. Volunteer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner, pass on information about funeral arrangements, or answer the phone. Pitch in to clean up the kitchen. A lawyer might volunteer to help with the estate. A handy person might button up the house as winter approaches.
Be sensitive to differences. People mourn and grieve in different ways. Religion plays a big role in how death is treated; so do ethnic, cultural, and family backgrounds. Avoid criticizing the funeral arrangements or memorial service. Also, try not to impose your beliefs about death on your friend.
Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Be aware that weekends are often very difficult, and suggest an activity. Low-stress activities may be best: watch a video at home together versus going out to a movie. Sometimes just being there without saying much is enough — it may even be exactly what your friend wants.
Listen well instead of advising. A sympathetic ear is a wonderful thing. A friend who listens even when the same story is told with little variation is even better. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don’t be quick to offer it.
Express your feelings. If you share your friend’s sorrow, say so. It’s even all right to blurt out that you don’t know what to say. Most likely, nothing you say will turn the tide, but your sympathetic presence may make your friend feel slightly less alone. (One caveat: try not to express your feelings so emphatically that your friend has to take care of you.)
Handle anger gently. People who are grieving sometimes direct angry feelings toward the closest target. If that happens to be you, try to be understanding. That is, wait until well after the person has cooled down before raising your concern in a nonthreatening way.
Keep your promises. If you offer to do anything, follow through. This is especially important where promises to children are involved. Losing a loved one is abandonment enough.
Comfort the Grieving
11 ways to comfort someone who’s grieving
If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, it can be hard to know how to console him or her. If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Accept that the person’s grieving will be a gradual process.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to say to a bereaved person. If you find yourself tongue-tied or uncertain of what to do in the face of someone’s loss, here are some steps you might try.
Name names. Don’t be afraid to mention the deceased. It won’t make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It’s terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation. (This suggestion does not apply in cultures in which mentioning the dead is taboo or bad luck, however.)
Offer hope. People who have gone through grieving often remember that it is the person who offered reassuring hope, the certainty that things will get better, who helped them make the gradual passage from pain to a renewed sense of life.
Make phone calls. Call to express your sympathy. Try to steer clear of such phrases as “It’s God’s will” or “It’s for the best” unless the bereaved person says this first. Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling.
Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring, or funny anecdote that shows how important to you he or she was. If you didn’t know the deceased, offer your sympathy and assure the bereaved that he or she is in your thoughts or prayers.
Help out. Be specific when offering help. Volunteer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner, pass on information about funeral arrangements, or answer the phone. Pitch in to clean up the kitchen. A lawyer might volunteer to help with the estate. A handy person might button up the house as winter approaches.
Be sensitive to differences. People mourn and grieve in different ways. Religion plays a big role in how death is treated; so do ethnic, cultural, and family backgrounds. Avoid criticizing the funeral arrangements or memorial service. Also, try not to impose your beliefs about death on your friend.
Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Be aware that weekends are often very difficult, and suggest an activity. Low-stress activities may be best: watch a video at home together versus going out to a movie. Sometimes just being there without saying much is enough — it may even be exactly what your friend wants.
Listen well instead of advising. A sympathetic ear is a wonderful thing. A friend who listens even when the same story is told with little variation is even better. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don’t be quick to offer it.
Express your feelings. If you share your friend’s sorrow, say so. It’s even all right to blurt out that you don’t know what to say. Most likely, nothing you say will turn the tide, but your sympathetic presence may make your friend feel slightly less alone. (One caveat: try not to express your feelings so emphatically that your friend has to take care of you.)
Handle anger gently. People who are grieving sometimes direct angry feelings toward the closest target. If that happens to be you, try to be understanding. That is, wait until well after the person has cooled down before raising your concern in a nonthreatening way.
Keep your promises. If you offer to do anything, follow through. This is especially important where promises to children are involved. Losing a loved one is abandonment enough.
If you have a friend or relative who is grieving, it can be hard to know how to console him or her. If it seems that nothing you can do or say helps, don’t give up. You can’t take the pain away, but your presence is more important than it seems. Accept that you can’t fix the situation or make your friend or relative feel better. Instead just be present and offer hope and a positive outlook toward the future. Accept that the person’s grieving will be a gradual process.
It is sometimes difficult to know what to say to a bereaved person. If you find yourself tongue-tied or uncertain of what to do in the face of someone’s loss, here are some steps you might try.
Name names. Don’t be afraid to mention the deceased. It won’t make your friend any sadder, although it may prompt tears. It’s terrible to feel that someone you love must forever be expunged from memory and conversation. (This suggestion does not apply in cultures in which mentioning the dead is taboo or bad luck, however.)
Offer hope. People who have gone through grieving often remember that it is the person who offered reassuring hope, the certainty that things will get better, who helped them make the gradual passage from pain to a renewed sense of life.
Make phone calls. Call to express your sympathy. Try to steer clear of such phrases as “It’s God’s will” or “It’s for the best” unless the bereaved person says this first. Your friend or relative may need you even more after the first few weeks and months, when other people may stop calling.
Write a note. If you had a relationship with the deceased, try to include a warm, caring, or funny anecdote that shows how important to you he or she was. If you didn’t know the deceased, offer your sympathy and assure the bereaved that he or she is in your thoughts or prayers.
Help out. Be specific when offering help. Volunteer to shop or do laundry, bring dinner, pass on information about funeral arrangements, or answer the phone. Pitch in to clean up the kitchen. A lawyer might volunteer to help with the estate. A handy person might button up the house as winter approaches.
Be sensitive to differences. People mourn and grieve in different ways. Religion plays a big role in how death is treated; so do ethnic, cultural, and family backgrounds. Avoid criticizing the funeral arrangements or memorial service. Also, try not to impose your beliefs about death on your friend.
Make a date. Ask your friend to join you for a walk or meal once a week. Be aware that weekends are often very difficult, and suggest an activity. Low-stress activities may be best: watch a video at home together versus going out to a movie. Sometimes just being there without saying much is enough — it may even be exactly what your friend wants.
Listen well instead of advising. A sympathetic ear is a wonderful thing. A friend who listens even when the same story is told with little variation is even better. Often, people work through grief and trauma by telling their story over and over. Unless you are asked for your advice, don’t be quick to offer it.
Express your feelings. If you share your friend’s sorrow, say so. It’s even all right to blurt out that you don’t know what to say. Most likely, nothing you say will turn the tide, but your sympathetic presence may make your friend feel slightly less alone. (One caveat: try not to express your feelings so emphatically that your friend has to take care of you.)
Handle anger gently. People who are grieving sometimes direct angry feelings toward the closest target. If that happens to be you, try to be understanding. That is, wait until well after the person has cooled down before raising your concern in a nonthreatening way.
Keep your promises. If you offer to do anything, follow through. This is especially important where promises to children are involved. Losing a loved one is abandonment enough.
Happy New Year?
We turned to a new page and found it little different from the old one -- wars and rumors of wars, a grim economic outlook, and with political, religious and class divisions as hard as ever. But our luck is holding out. Jane and I are still counting our blessings and enjoying life.
We wish health and prosperity for you all.
We wish health and prosperity for you all.
Twenty-five and Counting
Wedding anniversary #25. With much thanks to Jane and a lot of good luck, I've had twenty-five blissful years. Who said you must work at it? I've made a few regrettable decisions but for me, the marriage decision was my best ever. Let's make the next twenty-five as happy.
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