Regrets

Knowing we are each a product of every experience we've ever had, I sometimes wonder what if I'd had different opportunities and made different choices. Although my regrets are many, I seldom waste time dwelling upon them. It's my nature to make choices and proceed with my next action based on where I am now, rather than where I should be or wished I were. This contributes to contentment but doesn't serve me well in learning from mistakes. I've made many regrettable choices but my greatest was not conscientiously applying myself to education. Since I didn't take advantage of education, one might conclude that I didn't place much importance on it. To the contrary, I've always had the greatest admiration for those more educated; even holding in awe those with higher degrees to such an extent that I couldn't have a normal relationship with them. I think my failure to pursue higher education stems from the feeling I've always had that I was too far behind and could never catch up. This, along with the burden of being a perfectionist, led to expectations of probable failure so I seldom attempted significant achievements. Earlier in life I convinced myself that having high aspirations was unimportant or even unwise; Then, in later years, I pretended to be lazy. Now I really have become lazy.